I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
