hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.