Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  did you get engaged???

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  (248): did you get engaged??? http://tfl.nu/bgu9
  Replies (15) Good night (1229) Bad night (2375)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Fat chicks shouldn't bartend

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  (530): Fat chicks shouldn't bartend http://tfl.nu/r18g
  Replies (245) Good night (981) Bad night (3656)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...

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  (405): well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth... http://tfl.nu/pzm2
  Replies (11) Good night (2807) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"

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  (402): They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman" http://tfl.nu/zber
  Replies (36) Good night (3811) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Girls should come with a carfax report

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  (910): Girls should come with a carfax report http://tfl.nu/ithx
  Replies (55) Good night (7299) Bad night (1779)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.

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  (713): If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free. http://tfl.nu/xcq7
  Replies (25) Good night (1503) Bad night (4554)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.

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  (678): his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him. http://tfl.nu/quex
  Replies (24) Good night (6006) Bad night (1280)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1

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  (347): I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1 http://tfl.nu/kfm1
  Replies (5) Good night (2245) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"

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  (213): hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month" http://tfl.nu/hs5s
  Replies (17) Good night (1139) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.

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  (443): He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us. http://tfl.nu/2gzn
  Replies (7) Good night (1091) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success

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  (207): I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success http://tfl.nu/d8wt
  Replies (4) Good night (527) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?

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  (330): She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water? http://tfl.nu/897n
  Replies (2) Good night (1234) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  But how do I turn off the feelings though?

  (432): View more from Texas

  Vodka.

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  (325): But how do I turn off the feelings though? (432): Vodka. http://tfl.nu/uucy
  Replies (5) Good night (1290) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.

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  (651): I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant. (715): I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40. http://tfl.nu/ewh2
  Replies (3) Good night (693) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick

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  (571): We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick http://tfl.nu/pb28
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (195)

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