using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids