Texts From Last Night

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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  All of his creepy stalker friends want you too

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  (318): All of his creepy stalker friends want you too http://tfl.nu/8m59
  Replies (25) Good night (697) Bad night (982)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.

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  (248): In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary. http://tfl.nu/2umo
  Replies (20) Good night (1448) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i only shaved half my leg

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  on purpose

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  (201): i only shaved half my leg (201): on purpose http://tfl.nu/r22e
  Replies (32) Good night (1111) Bad night (2761)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room

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  (325): I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room http://tfl.nu/mue9
  Replies (53) Good night (4643) Bad night (2574)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.

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  (910): This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods. http://tfl.nu/a6lo
  Replies (11) Good night (5050) Bad night (1145)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"

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  (805): Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever" http://tfl.nu/wsl5
  Replies (41) Good night (8439) Bad night (1636)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"

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  (707): You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip" http://tfl.nu/cn9w
  Replies (6) Good night (3634) Bad night (1220)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.

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  (715): my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina. http://tfl.nu/moie
  Replies (16) Good night (907) Bad night (1767)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.

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  (416): I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison. http://tfl.nu/ptp6
  Replies (1) Good night (1266) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.

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  (479): Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops. http://tfl.nu/gg9y
  Replies (3) Good night (1255) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.

  (269): View more from Michigan

  7) Noodle arms: engage

  (269): View more from Michigan

  The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.

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  (269): 1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all. (269): 7) Noodle arms: engage (269): The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right. http://tfl.nu/5w2m
  Replies (8) Good night (1560) Bad night (498)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm trying to hide in the table.

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  (973): You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man. (201): I'm trying to hide in the table. http://tfl.nu/7531
  Replies (1) Good night (536) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.

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  (412): Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit. http://tfl.nu/so52
  Replies (2) Good night (582) Bad night (403)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.

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  (302): Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose. http://tfl.nu/sote
  Replies (0) Good night (303) Bad night (192)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.

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  (712): Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much. http://tfl.nu/esu5
  Replies (2) Good night (315) Bad night (113)

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