They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
