69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
