i think my mom watched the whole time
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
