I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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