I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
