Christians are straight up FREAKS
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
