Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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