that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
