My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
