I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
