I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Randomize
