at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
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