i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
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