Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
