Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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