dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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