My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize