I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
this boner is exhausting
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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