Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
