I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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