guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
