Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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