i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There was a lot of him and a little penis
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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