Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
