Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
whose ass print is on the piano?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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