Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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