is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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