You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
