At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
