Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
