i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
