Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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