Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
