Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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