Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
