How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize