I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
