thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
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And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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