saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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