We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
