Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
