At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
40s are totally the cure
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
