Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
