She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
