i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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