ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
