sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
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In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
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Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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