i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
