Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
