I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize