I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
