You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
