I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
where are my eyebrows?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
