He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
