I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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