the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
