You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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