she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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