went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
