I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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