Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
