Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize