ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
