im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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