I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
