I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
