k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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