Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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